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Today's stories [7.23.17]

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   Try as I might though, I just can't seem to win many points with my
   wife. Just the other day she was reminding me of how often she had to
   ask for my help with our kids. Then she pointed out that the youngest
   had moved out over eight years ago. I smiled and said "OK, what would
   you like me to do next ?" Again -- nothing but cold icy silence. I
   just don't understand that woman at all.


1. 




Nearly everyone knows that Judith Martin, better known as
Miss Manners, the syndicated columnist, is exceedingly correct.
Last week, she saw an advertisement in the newspaper that a
Maryland jewelry store was having a sale in her silver pattern.
Upon arriving at the store, she told the jeweler she was
looking for additional dessert spoons in her pattern and had
been making do with the larger soup spoons.

"That's not much of a hardship," the employee said. "It is
for me," Martin responded. Caught up in the moment, the
saleswoman joked, "Who do you think you are, Miss Manners?"
The easily recognizable Miss Manners looked at the woman,
unable to respond. And then it registered. "Oh my God!"
the saleswoman said. 

from the Jan 26 San Jose Mercury News 


2. 




That guy was shopping at the grocery store the other day and
tried to pay for his purchase with his ATM.  After swiping it
several times he told the cashier that he didn't think it was
working. The cashier told him that she didn't think anyone
had ever been able to get their driver's license to work in
the machine.

3. 



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