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Today's stories [2.22.17]

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Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake
City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you 
it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the
flight attendant's fault.....it was the asphalt!"

1. 




My high school friend, Janet, and I roomed together at 
college. We started in the summer as soon as we left 
high school.

She met her husband Leo there in the Fall; he was a 
Junior and we were 18-year-old innocents.  They married 
on New Year's Eve so they could have a few days off 
together from work and school.

New Year's Day afternoon I got a call from her to come 
over quick; they had the flu so bad they couldn't 
get up and were too bashful to call anyone else to help.

For a day or two I repeatedly washed and dryed their 
sheets and jammies and heated up soup and brought them 
juice and kleenex. While they slept I read a book. 

It's really funny now, but it wasn't then.

Two weeks later I met Dale.  On the 3rd of July, Janet 
was maid of honor at our wedding.  

So what I knew about honeymoons was that you eat soup 
and cough and sleep and read a book and take your 
jammies off and on a lot, and sweat and moan and 
somebody gets a headache and you wash and dry the sheets 
a lot and eventually you run out of juice. 

Ours was kind of like that, too.  

ha ha ha ha ha.

p.s.  Happy 50th Birthday, Janet!  We just sent this 
email all over the internet!


Love you both!

Anne and Dale in Orlando


Sent by Anne

2. 




STATISTICALLY SPEAKING

Germany was frequently bombing Russia during World War 
II.  Every time the air raid siren sounded, people rushed to 
the nearest air raid bomb shelter.  One person who never 
took shelter was a professor of statistics.  He argued that 
there are seven million people in Russia and the probability 
of a bomb actually dropping on him was very small.  Then 
suddenly one day when the air raid siren was sounded the 
professor rushed to the air raid shelter along with his 
neighbours from the building.
"Lost your nerver professor ?"asked one of his aquaitances.
" NO" said the professor " but I have realized that the bombs 
do not observe the laws of probability.  There were seven 
million people and one elephant in Russia .  Yesterday they 
got the elephant."

Sent by nanditha 

3. 



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