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Main Archives Quotes Category: Lawyers

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1
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"When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for
 the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also,
 would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
"Objection.  That question should be taken out and shot."
                        -- Unknown Prosecution, Unknown Defense


2
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If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many
   lawyers?
         Calvin Trillin


3
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Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.


4
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As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important
   that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much
   money. What's important is that you continue to do so.
   -- Hunter S. Thompson's Samoan Attorney


5
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What we lawyers want to do is substitute courts
        for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs,
        warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles.
                                                -- Charles Sylvanus Rhyne

6
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"Despite it's clever disguise the aperture to the right is not actually a
 window, but is a fire exit. _So_ if you want it open, please light this
 waste-paper bin so we aren't breaking the law, and the fire brigade will open
 it for you."
                        -- Paul Gardner-Stephen


7
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"Give me five lines by the best of men,
and I will find something in it to hang him."

                                   -- An anonimous prosecutor

8
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 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

9
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If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the 
equator...It would be a good idea to just leave them there. 

10
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"Only Lawyers and mental defectives are
automatically exempt for jury duty." 

                                            -- George Bernard Shaw

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