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Main Archives Quotes Category: History

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1
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* Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
       think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
         1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
         2. Advising the President.
         3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
       --David Letterman


2
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I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
         Dave Edison


3
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ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
   What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?


4
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First Rule of History:
   History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each
   other.
  


5
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San Cristobal was full of hippies.  There were
way-back hippies growing gray, spreading out under their caftans, and
straining the buttons on their embroidered work shirts.  There were
new-hatched neohippies fumbling with the icons of the Sixties
wondering whether the peace symbol is supposed to be used mainly as a
nose stud or also as a pierced eyebrow ornament.  And there were
smelly European backpacker hippies, age indeterminate, telling the
locals, "Ich bin ein Vegan."
        --P.J. O'Rourke

6
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S. de M.: Father, how will I distinguish heretics from Catholics?
Answer: "Kill all. God will find them out" 

7
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Last words from a general in the
American Civil War:  "Nonsense!  They couldn't hit an elephant at this
dist--"

8
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"In the beginning there were three... and then the three became nine... and
 then the nine got hungry and then there were four..."
                        -- Gerard Phillips


9
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I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an
                                     Englishman in the dark.

                                       - - - Duncan Spaeth

10
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Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
   Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
   Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your
   principles or your mistress."


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