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Today's quotes [3.24.19]

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Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised 
mother-in-law.

1. 




Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think
   of it as the  only time of the month that I can be myself.
   -Roseanne

2. 




There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men 
   don't think there's a lot they don't know.  Women do.  Women
   want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show 
   me somebody naked."
   -Jerry Seinfield



3. 




"I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
There's a knob called `brightness', but it doesn't work."

                     -- Gallagher -- 

4. 




"Television has brought back murder into the home -- where it belongs."

                     -- Alfred Hitchcock -- 

5. 



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