Today's quotes [3.24.19]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think
of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women
want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show
me somebody naked."
"I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
There's a knob called `brightness', but it doesn't work."
-- Gallagher --
"Television has brought back murder into the home -- where it belongs."
-- Alfred Hitchcock --
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31