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Today's poems [8.15.18]

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On May Day the girls of Penzance, 
               Being bored by the lack of romance, 
                    Joined the workers' parade 
                    With this banner displayed: 
               "What the Pants of Penzance Need is Ants." 
                                                 

1. 




There once was a young man from Virtualand, 
               Who traded real life for a wedding band, 
                    He signed onto the net, 
                    His betrothed got upset, 
               And she lopped off his link @ the ampersand. 

2. 




A young lady from South Carolina 
               Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina. 
                    What, with proper sized cocks, 
                    Once was sex, became Bach's 
               Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor. 

3. 




Owed to the Spelling Checker



I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule
The checker pour o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Be fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of non eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft ware four pea seas.
And why I brake in two averse
By righting want too pleas.



4. 




There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

5. 



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 August '18 Poems Issues:
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12 13 14 15 16 17 18 
19 20 21 22 23 24 25 
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