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Today's poems [8.22.17]

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Clare, Clare I'm so aware,
how you flutter your eyes at me. 
But what about my wife Sue? 
I really dont know what to do.
Should I run or try and screw?

Do you mean it?
You're such a tease.
You have a boyfriend
but I don't like threes.

The other men at my work,
like you too, you're such a perk,
jerking off their trouser snakes,
at your photo, during breaks.


Sent by Dan

1. 




Danger - Men at work
====================

I go to work
and look with glee,
at Linda's breasts
(the secretary)
alas, each night I go home
I'm feeling hard but I'm alone

I cannot have her
for my love,
she only screws grade C
or above

There is a woman
at the top,
she nevers wear a dress,
she smokes a pipe and has a 'tache
we think she is a les

There is a girl in section 4,
she wears no knickers
and her skirts are short
I think I have a way to fool her
I hope she'll bend to take my ruler

There is a fat girl on my floor,
I think she never had sex before,
Next time that I have a boner
I'll grab her ass 
and then dethrone her

There is a guy in building A,
I'm told, he really is quite gay
As I'm so desperate, I will fake it
I'll close my eyes
and make him take it

Sent by Anon

2. 




A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.  
    
 A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound just like a song. 
    
Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.   
    
 A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly. 
    
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.   
    
From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us 
Sooner or later. 
    
So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.   
 

Sent by Mario

3. 




Mary had a little lamb,
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two slices of bread!

Sent by Mad


4. 




There was once a prostitute named Sue
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin
If they pay to get in
And they'll pay to get out too.

5. 



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