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Today's poems [4.3.20]

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DR. SUESS ON PCS

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, 
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, 
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, 
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, 
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, 
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, 
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, 
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, 
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, 
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, 
and you screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, 
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, 
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, 
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, 
then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM. 
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

Copyright  Gene Ziegler

Email: Gene_Ziegler@Cornell.edu



1. 




A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

2. 




To the tune of 'Yesterday':

Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.


3. 




There was a young lady of Michigan, 
                                        Who said, "Damn it! I've got the itch again." 
                                                      Said her mother, "That's strange, 
                                                      I'm surprised it ain't mange, 
                                        If you've slept with that son-of-a-bitch again." 

4. 




A corpulent lady named Kroll
Had an idea exceedingly droll:
She went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
And backed in as a Parker House roll.

5. 



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