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Main Archives Poems Category: Women

Page 2 (There are 6 pages of poems in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums on the bottom of the page. Or go back to categories menu.

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21
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There once was a girl named Miss Nokes, 
Who showed her behind to the folks. 
Everyone cheered, 
And a vendor appeared 
Selling hotdogs and popcorn and Cokes. 

22
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Said a meaty young woman of Croft,
  Amusing herself in the loft, 
     "A salami or wurst 
Is what I should choose first--- 
With bologna you know you've been boffed." 

23
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There was a young girl of Cohoes
               Who jerked herself off with her nose. 
                    She said, "Yes, I done it, 
                    But just for the fun it 
               Afforded the folk of Cohoes." 

24
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My wife is an amorous soul 
            On fire for an African's pole. 
                She told a coon chauffeur 
                That he was her gopher--- 
            And, say, did he go for her hole! 

25
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There was a young lass from Hoboken 
            Who said that her hymen was broken 
                From riding a bike, 
                on a cobble stone pike. 
            In truth, it was broken from pokin'. 

26
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There was an aesthetic young miss 
            Who thought it the apex of bliss 
                To jazz herself silly 
                With the bud of a lily, 
            Then go to the garden to piss! 

27
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A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 

28
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There was a young girl of Peru 
               Who had nothing whatever to do, 
                    So she sat on the stairs 
                    And counted cunt hairs--- 
               Four thousand, three hundred, and two. 

29
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There was a young girl from nace 
            Whose corset just would not lace. 
                Her mother said, "Nellie, 
                There's more in your belly 
            Than ever went in through your face." 

30
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There was a young lady from Slough 
            Who said that she didn't know how. 
                Then a young fellow caught her 
                And jolly well taught her; 
            She lodges in Pimlico now. 

31
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A shapely young lady name Jenna 
            Colored her pubics with henna. 
                On a beach she was crude 
                And sunbathed in the nude. 
            She was promptly invited to dinner. 

32
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There was an old maid in Van Nuys 
               Who went crazy from making mud pies. 
                    She would fill them with farts 
                    And pickled beef-hearts, 
               And bake them between her fierce thighs. 

33
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There was a young lassie named Phyllis 
               Was deflowered one night in a Willys. 
                    Before they were through 
                    Her spine was askew, 
               And I very much fear that it still is. 

34
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A milkmaid of Warnesby Fair 
               Was an expert at riding bulls bare. 
                    Oh how the bulls gallop 
                    To give that dear trollop 
               A bounce on the sweet derry-air. 

35
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Maggie is such a sad sack of shit 
               That no one will tickle her tit. 
                    It would make her so glad 
                    To be had by a lad, 
               Her drawers cream at the mere thought of it. 


The poems continue below

 


36
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There was a young lady named Hatch 
               Who would always come through in a scratch. 
                    If a guy wouldn't neck her, 
                    She'd grab up his pecker 
               And shove the damn thing up her snatch. 

37
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When a woman in strapless attire 
               Found her breasts working higher and higher, 
                    A guest, with great feeling, 
                    Exclaimed, "How appealing! 
               Do you mind if I piss in the fire?" 

38
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There once was a girl named McGoffin 
            Who was diddled amazingly often. 
                She was rogered by scores 
                Who'd been turned down by whores, 
            And was finally screwed in her coffin. 

39
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There was a young lady named Maude 
            A terrible society fraud: 
                In company, I'm told 
                She was awfully cold. 
            But if you got her alone, Oh My God! 

40
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There was a brave damsel of Brighton 
               Whom nothing could possibly frighten. 
                    She plunged in the sea 
                    And, with infinite glee, 
               Was fucked in the ass by a Triton

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