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Main › Archives › Poems › Category: Women
21 |
| Email Friend | | There once was a girl named Miss Nokes,
Who showed her behind to the folks.
Everyone cheered,
And a vendor appeared
Selling hotdogs and popcorn and Cokes.
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22 |
| Email Friend | | Said a meaty young woman of Croft,
Amusing herself in the loft,
"A salami or wurst
Is what I should choose first---
With bologna you know you've been boffed."
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23 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young girl of Cohoes
Who jerked herself off with her nose.
She said, "Yes, I done it,
But just for the fun it
Afforded the folk of Cohoes."
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24 |
| Email Friend | | My wife is an amorous soul
On fire for an African's pole.
She told a coon chauffeur
That he was her gopher---
And, say, did he go for her hole!
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25 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young lass from Hoboken
Who said that her hymen was broken
From riding a bike,
on a cobble stone pike.
In truth, it was broken from pokin'.
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26 |
| Email Friend | | There was an aesthetic young miss
Who thought it the apex of bliss
To jazz herself silly
With the bud of a lily,
Then go to the garden to piss!
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27 |
| Email Friend | | A virgin felt urged in Toulouse
Till she thought she would try sef-abuse.
In search of a hard on
She ran out in the garden,
And was had by a statue of Zeus.
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28 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young girl of Peru
Who had nothing whatever to do,
So she sat on the stairs
And counted cunt hairs---
Four thousand, three hundred, and two.
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29 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young girl from nace
Whose corset just would not lace.
Her mother said, "Nellie,
There's more in your belly
Than ever went in through your face."
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30 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young lady from Slough
Who said that she didn't know how.
Then a young fellow caught her
And jolly well taught her;
She lodges in Pimlico now.
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31 |
| Email Friend | | A shapely young lady name Jenna
Colored her pubics with henna.
On a beach she was crude
And sunbathed in the nude.
She was promptly invited to dinner.
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32 |
| Email Friend | | There was an old maid in Van Nuys
Who went crazy from making mud pies.
She would fill them with farts
And pickled beef-hearts,
And bake them between her fierce thighs.
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33 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young lassie named Phyllis
Was deflowered one night in a Willys.
Before they were through
Her spine was askew,
And I very much fear that it still is.
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34 |
| Email Friend | | A milkmaid of Warnesby Fair
Was an expert at riding bulls bare.
Oh how the bulls gallop
To give that dear trollop
A bounce on the sweet derry-air.
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35 |
| Email Friend | | Maggie is such a sad sack of shit
That no one will tickle her tit.
It would make her so glad
To be had by a lad,
Her drawers cream at the mere thought of it.
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36 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young lady named Hatch
Who would always come through in a scratch.
If a guy wouldn't neck her,
She'd grab up his pecker
And shove the damn thing up her snatch.
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37 |
| Email Friend | | When a woman in strapless attire
Found her breasts working higher and higher,
A guest, with great feeling,
Exclaimed, "How appealing!
Do you mind if I piss in the fire?"
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38 |
| Email Friend | | There once was a girl named McGoffin
Who was diddled amazingly often.
She was rogered by scores
Who'd been turned down by whores,
And was finally screwed in her coffin.
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39 |
| Email Friend | | There was a young lady named Maude
A terrible society fraud:
In company, I'm told
She was awfully cold.
But if you got her alone, Oh My God!
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40 |
| Email Friend | | There was a brave damsel of Brighton
Whom nothing could possibly frighten.
She plunged in the sea
And, with infinite glee,
Was fucked in the ass by a Triton
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