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Main Archives Poems Category: At Work

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1
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There was a young lady called Valerie
Who started to count every calory
Said her boss in disgust:
"If you lose half your bust
You'll be worth only half of your salary!"

2
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A sempstress at Epping-on-Tyne 
            Used to peddle her tail down the line. 
                She first got a crown, 
                But her prices went down--- 
            Now she'll fit you for ten pence or nine. 

3
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The life of a clerk of the session 
               Was strangled in psychic repression. 
                    But his maladies ceased 
                    When his penis uncreased 
               In straight geometric progression. 

4
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When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

5
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There was an old fellow named Rapp 
            Who had a job all considered a snap. 
                In the insane asylum 
                He'd grade cunts and file 'em, 
            And bi-weekly he'd rub up their nap

6
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Another Month Ends: 

     All Targets Met
     All Systems Working
     All Customers Satisfied
     All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic
     All Pigs Fed and Ready to Fly 

7
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Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required" 

8
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Danger - Men at work
====================

I go to work
and look with glee,
at Linda's breasts
(the secretary)
alas, each night I go home
I'm feeling hard but I'm alone

I cannot have her
for my love,
she only screws grade C
or above

There is a woman
at the top,
she nevers wear a dress,
she smokes a pipe and has a 'tache
we think she is a les

There is a girl in section 4,
she wears no knickers
and her skirts are short
I think I have a way to fool her
I hope she'll bend to take my ruler

There is a fat girl on my floor,
I think she never had sex before,
Next time that I have a boner
I'll grab her ass 
and then dethrone her

There is a guy in building A,
I'm told, he really is quite gay
As I'm so desperate, I will fake it
I'll close my eyes
and make him take it

Sent by Anon

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