Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 




Main Archives Poems Category: Marriage and Relationships

Page 1 (There are 2 pages of poems in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums on the bottom of the page. Or go back to categories menu.

Jump to Page:  1  2   Other Categories ]

1
Email Friend
 
To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective:
'Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
Has your east tit the least bit
The best of the west tit?
Or is it a trick of perspective?'



2
Email Friend
 
There was a young maiden of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
"If you kiss me, of course,
You will have to use force,-
But god knows you are stronger that I am."

3
Email Friend
 
There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 

4
Email Friend
 

            Have you heard of the Widow O'Riley 
            Who esteemed her late husband so highly 
                That in spite of the scandal, 
                Her umbrella handle 
            Was made of his membrum virile. 

5
Email Friend
 
To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish! 
            Your cunt is as big as a dish!" 
                She replied, "Why, you fool, 
                With your limp little tool 
            It's like driving a nail with a fish!" 

6
Email Friend
 
A cautious young husband named Rafe 
            Used to diddle his wife with a safe. 
                Thus he thwarted God's wishes 
                And fed his pet fishes, 
            Which he kept in a bedside carafe. 

7
Email Friend
 
A king sadly said to his queen, 
            "In parts you have grown far from lean." 
                "I don't give a damn, 
                You've always liked ham," 
            She replied, and he gasped, "How obscene!" 

8
Email Friend
 
Comming home at a quarter of three
I caught my wife cheating on me
I raged, "Who's this fink?"
She cried with a wink
"I don't know, It's a new one on me."

9
Email Friend
 
            Said my wife as she stood on a rostrum, 
            "I don't mind if I don't have colostrum, 
                But I'll take an option 
                If your child's for adoption--- 
            Though I cannot bear kids, I can foster 'em." 

10
Email Friend
 
A newlywed couple from Goshen 
               Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. 
                    In twenty-eight days 
                    They got laid eighty ways--- 
               Imagine such fucking devotion. 

11
Email Friend
 
When she wanted a new way to futter 
               He greased her behind with butter; 
                    Then, with a sock, 
                    In went his jock, 
               And they carried her home on a shutter. 

12
Email Friend
 
Holy mother full of grace,

Bless my boyfriends sexy face,

keep him from the girls I hate,

For we were meant to be soul mates,


Sent by L&S

13
Email Friend
 
               A bobby of Nottingham Junction 
               Whose organ had long ceased to function 
                    Deceived his good wife 
                    For the rest of her life 
               With the aid of a constable's truncheon. 

14
Email Friend
 
               My wife Myrtle's womb has a habit 
               Of expanding whenever I stab it. 
                    What's more, my wife Myrtle 
                    Is so wonderously fertile, 
               That she's giving me kids like a rabbit. 

15
Email Friend
 
RELATIVES

Many many years ago when I was twenty three, 
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. 
This widow had a grown-up daughter 
Who had hair of red. 
My father fell in love with her, 
And soon the two were wed. 

This made my dad my son-in-law 
And changed my very life. 
My daughter was my mother, 
For she was my father's wife. 

To complicate the matters worse, 
Although it brought me joy, 
I soon became the father 
Of a bouncing baby boy. 

My little baby then became 
A brother-in-law to dad. 
And so became my uncle, 
Though it made me very sad. 

For if he was my uncle, 
Then that also made him brother 
To the widow's grown-up daughter 
Who, of course, was my step-mother. 

Father's wife then had a son, 
Who kept them on the run. 
And he became my grandson, 
For he was my daughter's son. 

My wife is now my mother's mother 
And it makes me blue. 
Because, although she is my wife, 
She's my grandmother too. 

If my wife is my grandmother, 
Then I am her grandchild. 
And every time I think of it, 
It simply drives me wild. 

For now I have become 
The strangest case you ever saw. 
As the husband of my grandmother, 
I am my own grandpa! 


The poems continue below

 


16
Email Friend
 
               My wife, when I traveled away, 
               Made sly extramarital hay, 
                    And partied for hours 
                    With chosen endowers, 
               And often came back the next day. 

17
Email Friend
 
               A pathetic appellant at Reno 
               Was as chaste as the holy Bambino, 
                    For she'd married a slicker 
                    Who stuck to his liquor 
               And scorned her ripe maraschino

18
Email Friend
 
               A young wife in the outskirts of Tass 
               Preferred frigging to going to mass. 
                    Said her husband, "Take Jacques, 
                    Or any young cock, 
               For I cannot live up to your ass." 

19
Email Friend
 
A man loved a gal named Bundy
Who came from the Bay of Fundy.
But to his despair,
She gave him the air
Sic transit gloria mundi. 

20
Email Friend
 
Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task. 

Jump to Page:  1  2   Other Categories ]



Put poems from this category on your page!
To have random poems from this category displayed on your page, grab this code (click here to get code for poems from ALL categories):

  And this is how this is how the result will look like (box not included :-) ):




Jump to  




For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.