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Ways to be obnoxious on Usenet

1. Post a message asking how to post messages.

2. Lead a tireless crusade for the creation of newsgroups with silly
names like

3. Put 4 addresses, 5 lines of Geek Code, 6 ASCII-art bicycles, a PGP
key, and your home phone in your signature.

4. Reinvigorate a discussion by switching attributions in follow-ups.

5. Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.

6. Post a compendium of old articles from a thread that died months ago
with a title such as *** HAS JOE SMITH FORGOTTEN HIS LIES? ***

7. Post a 56-part binary MPG file of your dog throwing up to
news.answers. Announce that you screwed it up and repeat.

8. On the MST3K groups, ask what happened to Joel.

9. Ask readers of to post their favorite Zeppelin tune
for a poll.

10. Reacquaint the readers of rec.humor with the two-strings-go-in-a-bar joke.

11. Determine a perversion so bizarre or obscure that it doesn't yet
have its own sex group.

12. Post your new War Heroes of India FAQ to soc.culture.pakistan.

13. Start this week's new AOL virus rumor.

14. Format your posts for 90 columns (or 20).

15. Provide a valuable public service by notifying the eager readers of
roughly 1,200 newsgroups of your new HOOTERAMA phone sex
service or PorqWhiffe pheramone cologne.

16. Post elaborate conspiracy theories to talk.politics.misc detailing
how ATF agents under the control of Chelsea Clinton and Socks have
implanted invisible microchips in your genitals.

17. Fill that empty mailbox, make new friends, delight your postmaster,
and selflessly lead others to riches with a few MAKE MONEY FAST posts.

18. Attempt to sell your sweaty underwear in

19. Follow up a 200-line post to add only your signature.

20. Crosspost Amiga articles to the Mac and PC newsgroups for a valuable
interchange of provocative ideas.

21. Announce a mailing list for Bill Gates' VISA card number.

22. Inform the readers of that your friend at a particular
address is taking a penis length survey, and the first 1000 people to
send him their measurements will receive free naked pictures of Cindy

23. Correct every spelling mistake you encounter, but misspell the word
imbecile in your follow-up flames.

24. Flame yourself, and complain to your own postmaster.

25. Ask readers of the Star Trek groups when they last had dates.

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