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Things NOT to Say on Dates for Guys
© Greg Bulmash. Greg Bulmash is a great humor columnist whose columns can be found at www.bulmash.com. You can also read his blog at www.brainhandles.com.
1. "Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?"
2. "I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use
this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired."
3. "No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix
alcohol and penicillin."
4. "I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you."
5. "People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell."
6. "I used to come here all the time with my ex."
7. "I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it."
8. "Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice
on the answering machine every hour."
9. "I like clay. It's mushy."
10. "I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't
have given someone like you a second look."
11. "And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest."
12. "I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good
butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask."
13. "It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just
won't be as smart as I am."
14. "Dropping my pants just scared them. But when my underwear hit the
ground... Man! I never knew Jehovah's Witnesses could run that fast."
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