Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page > Humor Lists >
Pipe specifications for idiots

1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic
centred around the hole.

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes
of different length to the pipe.

3. The ID (Inside Diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the OD (Outside
Diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam
or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5. All pipe should be supplied without rust; this can be more readily applied
at the job site.
NOTE:  Some vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipes.  If available
in your area, this product is recommended, as it will save a great deal of
time at the job site.

6. All pipe over 500ft (150m) in length should have the words "LONG PIPE"
clearly painted on each side and end, so that the contractor knows it's a
long pipe.

7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2km) in length must also have the words "LONG PIPE"
painted in the middle, so the contractor will not have to walk the entire
length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a
short pipe.

8. All pipe over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have the words "LARGE PIPE"
painted on it, so the contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.

9. Flanges must be used on all pipe.  Flanges must have holes for bolts,
quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

10. When ordering 90 or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or
righ-hand, otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or
downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipes for going uphill, the water
will flow the wrong way.

12. All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads, but do
not mix the threads otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one
pipe, it is being unscrewed fron the other.

13. All pipes shorter than 1/8in (3mm) are very uneconomical in use, requiring
many joints. They are genreally known as washers.

14. Joints in pipes for piping water must be water-tight.  Those in pipes for
compressed air, however, need only be air-tight.

15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together.  This method is not
recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.

16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes.  These include:  conduit,
tube, tunnel and drain.  Use only genuine pipes.

17. Scottish Regiments in the Army use Army pipes in unusual ways.  These are
not approved of in engineering circles.

‹‹ Back to Alphabetical List Menu ‹‹ Back to Categorized List Menu

Put Random List on Your Page!

To have the Random List Include displayed on your page, just copy the code below and paste it into your webpage's HTML. The random list excerpt will appear automatically, different everytime your page is viewed:

  And this is how this is how the result will look like - box not included :-) (register to be able to add border, change text color and background color of your RandList)

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.