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New Barbie Dolls

1. BOBBIT BARBIE (with knife, Ken had better watch out)

2. BARBIE BROWN SIMPSON (slashed neck and bloody body, carton of Ben & Jerry's
Cookie Dough included)

3. DIVORCED BARBIE (comes with all of Ken's accessories)

4. TEENAGE SINGLE PARENT BARBIE ("welfare check" from Mattel mailed each month)

5. CRACK ADDICT BARBIE (pipe included, sugar may be used to simulate crack cocaine)

6. BOULEVARD BARBIE (with cheap makeup, short skirt, and high heels)

7. LESBIAN BARBIE (Barbie with a butch)

8. LIPSTICK LESBIAN BARBIE (actually no different in appearance from regular Barbie)

9. ANOREXIA BARBIE (no different in appearance from regular Barbie)

10. BRUNETTE BARBIE (the only Barbie with a brain)


12. BOW-WOW BARBIE (the ugliest Barbie you've ever seen)

13. PUNK BARBIE (has rings in all sorts of strange places)

14. NAVY PILOT BARBIE (comes with a body bag, wrecked fighter jet sold separately)

15. BREAST IMPLANT BARBIE (now Barbie's a D-cup)

16. CANCER PATIENT BARBIE (remove the wig and Barbie's bald)

17. BLACK BARBIE (once your Ken doll goes black, he'll never go back)

18. FEMINIST BARBIE (has unshaved legs and armpits)

19. BATTERED WIFE BARBIE (comes with a restraining order to serve to Ken)

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