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Name Puns We'd All Like To See
1. If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
2. If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
3. If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.
4. If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
5. If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg (Hey! Now everything is possible!)
he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
6. If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to
marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
7. If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry
Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
8. If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
9. If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and
married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
10. If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop
Doggy Dogg Pooh.
11. How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe
Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
12. If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced
him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
13. Nog (Quark's nephew on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no
other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license.
If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog
Nog Hughes Dare.
14. If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan
Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
15. If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar,
then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.
16. If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose
Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.
17. If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar
(of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener
(mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
18. If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married
Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody
Wood Peck Hur.
19. If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back
in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married
Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we
could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton
Smothers Lucky Short Guy."
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