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As much use as...



1. A one legged man in an arse kicking contest  (from Python I think)


2. A chocolate teapot (trad.)


3. Milk shoes


4. A nuclear powered computer controlled intercontinental ballistic duck.


5. A one to one scale model of the starship Enterprise made out of honey.


6. A flammable fire extinguisher



7. A glass cricket bat



8. A gelignite suppository.



9. A coal powered frog-violin.


10. Granite sugar cubes



11. Pasta audio wire



12. A pastry telephone


13. Ice cream gloves


14. A sugar surf board


15. Spam windscreen wipers



16. A blind lifeguard


17. Wooden soap


18. Shortbread tires


19. A whipped-cream jet engine


20. A knitted light bulb


21. A plate-steel trampoline


22. An invisible traffic light


23. A string hook



24. A bread boat



25. Plasticine wire cutters


26. A neon pink secret door


27. Chocolate staples


28. A lead balloon


29. A paper hole punch


30. A water hat


The list continues below

 


31. A latex multistory car park


32. A steel reinforced concrete sail


33. A margarine turbocharger


34. Custard floorboards


35. Gravy ceiling tiles


36. A fried motor-boat


37. A mud monitor


38. A chocolate disk


39. A silent telephone


40. A tap-dancing microprocessor controlled portrait of a bowl of soup


41. A velvet TV set


42. A concrete engine


43. A water-proof tea bag


44. An exploding bassoon


45. A stone cigarette


46. Syrup underwear


47. A plastic oven


48. A wax truss


49. A liquorice suspension bridge


50. Soap false teeth


51. Asbestos water wings


52. A lemonade roof


53. Velvet brake-pads


54. A pair of jelly wellingtons


55. A jam cardigan


56. A paper bicycle pump


57. Non-stick sellotape


58. A sponge radar


59. Anti-matter sun-tan lotion


60. Ice-cream saucepans


61. A soluble drain pipe


62. A cubic ball-bearing


63. An inflatable dartboard


64. A soluble lifeboat


65. A glass hammer


66. A packet of rubber nails


67. Elevator Earth Shoes


68. Heat'n'eat popsicles


69. See-through mirror


70. Revolving basement restaurant


71. G-rated pornflick


72. Economy car conversion - fiberglass VW body on a Porsche chassis


73. Roll-on hairspray


74. Solar-powered foghorn


75. Moped exercycle


76. Objective journalism


77. Braille speedometers


78. A screen door on a submarine


79. An ejector seat in a helicopter


80. Waterproof teabags


81. Solar powered torches


82. Central heated ice-cubes


83. A pocket in a pair of underpants


84. A chocolate dick


85. An astray on a motorbike


86. A sodium submarine


87. Tits on a bull


88. Aka. "Mammary glands on the male of the bovine species"


89. A condom with a hole in it


90. A box of matches in the desert


  
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