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List of Things to Do When You Find Someone Left Their Vax/VMS Account Without Logging Out
1. Just start copying their existing files to random names and fill up
their disk quota. Use long names and don't repeat them so they are
hard to delete. Like kdielshigleiahgpzpaliillapzpwolvzzibnx/wozovne.mpr
Its much easier than it looks.
2. Change their default directory to some place they don't have privileges
for, like maybe Disk2:[fac.DrMeany]
3. Change all of their protection settings so that they do not have access
to their own files. (This one brings a tear to my eye.)
4. Put all their files into a directory called I_am_stupid.duh
This can be fun if they never figured out what set default means.
5. Edit their login.com file: Change all of their def/nolog stuff
so that each time they try to talk to their friend they request
that the OPER mount disk14a. (Or SYSADMIN, USER, etc...)
OPER has SUCH a good sense of humor about this.
6. You can't increase your own priority for the CPU but you *can* lower it.
Drop their priority down to 0. -- When they are tired of waiting 20 min
just to do a 'dir' you can explain to them that they must be using
too much space.
7. Edit their login.com file: Add this line; $ lo
(when they login they automatically logout!)
Nice, quick, simple to implement... etc.
8. Edit their login.com file: Add this line; $ lo*gout == "help logout"
This way they CAN'T logout! Sorta the roach motel idea, they
can login, but they can't logout.
9. Save a little disk space and combine all their files, executables too,
into one big file. Don't forget to erase all those other files.
10. Change their prompt to read: @system error -- please logout and try again.
A true classic and a personal favorite.
11. Get in their email and let that prof know what you REALLY think
about their freaking class! (Slightly outmoded in the age of forgery.)
12. Get in their login.com and add this line: $dir == "dir fishy.smile"
Then when they type DIR they see FILES NOT FOUND. That'll up their
13. Take full advantage of the REMIND function. Set it to REMIND the
person every 10 min that they need to log off. Set it so that it
appears to tell them its time to logoff. Practice this one at home.
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