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The Two Cow Explanation



1. A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one
and give one to your neighbor.


2. A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes
one and gives it to your neighbor.


3. A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
So what?


4. A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people
into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one
to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to
your neighbor. You feel righteous.


5. A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
both and provides you with milk.


6. A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
both and sells you the milk. You join the underground
and start a campaign of sabotage.


7. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The
government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one
cow, which was a gift from your government.


8. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell
one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


9. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The
government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk
down the drain.


10. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell
one, and force the other to produce the milk of four
cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.


11. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on
strike because you want three cows.


12. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign
them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.


13. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer
them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.


14. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't
know where they are. You break for lunch.


15. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count
them and learn you have five cows. You count them again
and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.


16. A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but
you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.


17. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which
belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.


18. A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter
into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon
you have 1000 cows and the American corporation
declares bankruptcy.


19. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.


  
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