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FDA Beer Warnings



1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering,
when you are not.


2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.


3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and 
over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.


4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.


5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really 
dying for you to telephone them at 4am.


6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to 
your pants.


7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with 
members of the opposite sex.


8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.


9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see 
something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).


10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on 
the forehead.


11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, 
handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named BO.


12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


14. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, 
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.


15. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.


  
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