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The Corporate Zodiac



1. MARKETING

You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study 
in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much 
what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.


2. SALES

Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are 
also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their 
money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big 
picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.


3. TECHNOLOGY

Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to 
completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't 
understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the 
geeks shall inherit the Earth.


4. ENGINEERING

One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety 
percent of all personal ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: 
your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, 
everyone knows what's really causing your "carpal tunnel"...


5. ACCOUNTING

The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office 
politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your 
extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you 
are completely insane.


6. HUMAN RESOURCES

Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the 
biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does 
less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have 
to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!


7. MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS"

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your 
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to 
measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best 
suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a 
"Middle Manager."


8. SENIOR MANAGEMENT

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your 
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to 
measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best 
suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a 
"Senior Manager."


9. CUSTOMER SERVICE

Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. 
As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and 
a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over 
for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your boss.


  
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