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Woman-Speak Translator



1. "We need"					I want


2. "This Kitchen is so ____"			I want a new house


3. "I want new curtains"   			and carpet, and furniture, and ...


4. "I need a new pair of shoes"			the other 40 are all the wrong color


5. "I only need a soap dish"			We'll check out ALL the sale items


6. "Those are a bargain"		        	Did you bring your checkbook?


7. "Does this dress look OK?"			I need a new wardrobe


8. "Look at this coat!"				Is VISA maxed out?


9. "You're so attentive tonite"			Is sex all you ever think about?


10. "It's just... I'm soooo tired"  		Get away from me, you sex maniac


11. "It's been such a hectic day"   		Get away from me, you sex maniac


12. "Hon! I just did my hair"			Get away from me, you sex maniac


13. "Are the kids asleep?"  			Get away from me, you sex maniac


14. "Won't you be late for work?"   		Get away from me, you sex maniac


15. "Turn out the lights first"			My thighs looked flabby today


16. "Of course I like making love"  		Is this gonna take much longer?


17. "You're ... so manly"   			You need a shave and a shower


18. "You have such a manly scent"   		For God's sake. Use some deodorant


19. "My, don't you look comfortable"		Go put on a shirt, slob


20. "So nice to see you relaxing"   		Don't sit around in your underwear


21. "I'm not upset!"				Of course I'm upset, you moron


22. "I'm not emotional!"    			You'd be too, if you married an idiot


23. "I'm not mad at all"				I can't believe you're that stupid


24. "Yes, I'm still talking to you" 		I can't believe you're that stupid


25. "I'm not being quiet"   			I can't believe you're that stupid


26. "No"						NO !!! NEVER !!! NO WAY !!!


27. "I'm sorry"					You'll be sorry


28. "Do you forgive me?"     			You'll be sorry


29. "Well, I was upset"				You'll be sorry


30. "Well, I was tired"				You'll be sorry


The list continues below

 


31. "Well, I had a headache"			You'll be sorry


32. "Do what you want"				You'll pay for this later, big time


33. "Do what you think best"			You'll pay for this later, big time


34. "You know more about it"			You'll pay for this later, big time


35. "As I recall, it was your idea" 		You'll pay for this later, big time


36. "Yes, I've calmed down" 			You'll pay for this later, big time


37. "I realize it was my fault sweetheart"  	You ain't seen nothing yet!


38. "It's your decision"				The correct decision is obvious


39. "Sure... go ahead"				Don't you dare, you clown


40. You like this recipe?   			It's easy to fix


41. "Do you want to eat out?"			I forgot to go grocery shopping


42. "What do you want for dinner?"  		I don't feel like cooking


43. "You seen that new restaurant?" 		I don't feel like cooking


44. "It's your Mother's recipe"			You'd better damn sight eat that


45. "You liked that the last time"  		You'd better damn sight eat that


46. "Don't want to talk yet"			Go away, I'm building up steam


47. "Just need some time to think"  		Go away, I'm building up steam


48. "We need to talk"				I need to complain


49. "Learn to communicate"  			Just agree with me


50. "I am not yelling!"				This is important, you idiot!


51. "Are you listening to me???"    		[Too late, you're dead]


52. "Our anniversary's coming up"   	When I think of the guys I could've married


53. "The kids were so bad today"			Your gene pool needs more chlorine


  
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