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Today's jokes [6.22.18]

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Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of 
golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the 
second, "My eyesight isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for 
me?".
The second guy says, "Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit."
So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to 
his buddy and says, "Did you see it?".
"Sure!", says his buddy.
"Where did it go?", the first guy asks. 
The second old man thinks for a minute and says, "I can't remember." 

1. 




How do you know if your secretary’s having a bad day?

Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil 


2. 




Age        DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
        17         "Burger King"
        25         "Free meal"
        35         "A diamond"
        48         "A bigger diamond"
        66         "Home Alone"



3. 




What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

Fur traders.

4. 




La Machine.
...vegetables...vvrrrrr...
La Machine.
...fruits...vvrrrrr...
La Machine.
...little children...No mommy, No!...vvrrrrr...
La Machine. 

5. 



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