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Today's jokes [10.20.18]

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Two guys get stuck on a desert island.They are soon caught by the natives
and brought to a village and put before the cheif.He says to the first
guy,"As punishment for tresspassing I give you a choice, death or Ru Ru".Not
wanting to die he picks Ru Ru.He is then beaten
and buggered to unconciousness right in front of his friend.The 2nd guywhen
asks says "I'd rather die than suffer that ". The chief says "Great,death it
is,death by Ru Ru"!!!


Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he
 sees a sign that says, "Cow For Sale...$5000."

 He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in
 the world worth five thousand dollars."

 The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this."

 He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a
 snatch just like a woman.

 Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says,
 "It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a
 snatch like a woman, and it's worth $5000, and here I
 am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you're not
 worth shit."


What's the object of a Jewish football game?

To get the quarter back!


The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn 
in as American citizens.
"It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens at 
last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?"
"Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook 
dinner and I get on top!"


An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist 
attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:
"How large is the population here?"
"Around 1.5 billion" -- the guide answers
American, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"


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