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Today's jokes [12.16.17]

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Why do blondes use so much shampoo? 

     The instructions read: LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT 

1. 




Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
                      Everyone would be afraid to lick it. 

2. 




A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights
broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the
offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a
note stuck under the windshield wiper.
"Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw
the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think
I'm leaving my name, address and other particulars. But I'm not."

3. 




What is the difference between a jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips.....

Sent by deadcatz

4. 




Why don't Blondes make good cattle herders.
Because they can never keep two calves together.


5. 



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