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Main Archives Jokes Category: Blondes

Page 7 (There are 9 pages of jokes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums on the bottom of the page. Or go back to categories menu.

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121
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Why did the blonde go half way to Sweden and then turn around and come 
home?

It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television. 

122
Email Friend
 
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. 

123
Email Friend
 
What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
                    He wanted to know who the other man was... 

124
Email Friend
 
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the 
blonde said to her boyfriend,
"Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?"

125
Email Friend
 
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their 
Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain 
and the top is down! 

126
Email Friend
 
Q: What did the dumb blond say to the large breasted waitress after 
reading her name tag?
   A: What did you name the other one!! 

127
Email Friend
 
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast 
Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came 
in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore 
completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she 
remarked:
"I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their 
arms." 

128
Email Friend
 
Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first 
blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the otherblonde, 
"Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can't swim.
Please tell me how  you did this!"
The second blonde then  says, " But you ARE on the otherside!"

129
Email Friend
 
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a 
dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! 
Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde 
thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. 
The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to 
her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I 
can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she 
dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The 
blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"

130
Email Friend
 
A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came 
to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful 
Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way 
home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they 
each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the 
registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?" 
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or 
so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him".

131
Email Friend
 
So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail 
in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He 
unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up 
this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many upside down 
nails away, that his friend came over. "Eh, what you doing? How come 
you're throwing away all those nails?" he asked. "Because they're upside 
down," the friend replied. The other guy looks at the friend, then, after 
some thought, says, "You Idiot, save them for the ceiling!"

132
Email Friend
 
Q: What do you get when a blond stands on here head?
A: A smelly burnette.

Sent by Tiffany

133
Email Friend
 
A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire. They ask 
her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!."

134
Email Friend
 
There was a blonde and a brunette in a car. The brunette hears a siren 
behind them, so she asks the blonde if its lights are on. The blonde turns 
around and says "yes, no, yes, no....." 

135
Email Friend
 
Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around 
a man. The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"
Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to
help that man!


The jokes continue below

 


136
Email Friend
 
What do you call a blonde that just came out of the closet?

The Hide and Seek champion of 1992.

137
Email Friend
 
A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from 
work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette 
asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was 
trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You put it around your 
neck!" The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"

138
Email Friend
 
Judi went to a "Dude Ranch" on vacation.  The cowboy
preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or
English saddle.

Judi asked what the difference was.

"Well, one has a horn and the other doesn't."

"Just get the one without the horn.  I don't think
we'll run into too much traffic out here."


139
Email Friend
 
I'm not so sure evolution is indeed a valid theory. I mean, think
about it --  if it were, wouldn't all blondes have grown handles
by now?

140
Email Friend
 
What have a blonde and a computer got in common?

You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!


Sent by Tiggsy


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