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Main Archives Jokes Category: Blondes

Page 4 (There are 9 pages of jokes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums on the bottom of the page. Or go back to categories menu.

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61
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What's a blonde's mating call? 

     I think I'm drunk. 

62
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Q:How can you tell if a blond has been sleepwalking? 

A:When you look in the refridgorator and there's
  lipstick all over the pickles. 

63
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Q: Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator? 

A: Because The organe Juice said concentrate 

64
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What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car? 

Dual air bags! 

65
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A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the
coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept
punching the buttons only to have happen what you'd
expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other,
and change too! 

After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went
and got more. Back at it she went, blocking the way
to the other vending machines with the mounting pile
of soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to the
young lady. 

People were starting to gather, seeing this beautiful
woman enthusiastically plugging money in like it was
fun. The people were gathering more though waiting their
turn at the machines. 

After watching a while, someone asked from the rear of
the group, 'Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?' 

'Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts, 'can't you see I'm
winning here?' 



66
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A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the
coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept
punching the buttons only to have happen what you'd
expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other,
and change too! 

After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went
and got more. Back at it she went, blocking the way
to the other vending machines with the mounting pile
of soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to the
young lady. 

People were starting to gather, seeing this beautiful
woman enthusiastically plugging money in like it was
fun. The people were gathering more though waiting their
turn at the machines. 

After watching a while, someone asked from the rear of
the group, 'Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?' 

'Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts, 'can't you see I'm
winning here?' 



67
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What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? 

     Pull the pin and throw it back.

68
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What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme? 

Hump me dump me 

69
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A blond walks into a bar.

     Ouch!

70
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There are three 3rd Grade girls, a blonde, a brunnett, and a red-head.
Q. Which one is the tallest?
A. The blonde -- she is 18 years old!

71
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What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?

 

They both wiggle when you eat them!

Sent by Sonia

72
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Judi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and 
besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied 
something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.
That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful 
Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she 
fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check 
stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes 
enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing 
in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly 
go wrong?

At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the 
car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet 
and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody 
clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with 
her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait 
saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.

"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be 
the matter?

Judi replied, "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."

"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the 
engine was purring like a cat again.

"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?"

"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.

Looking shocked she asked, "Oh. How many times a week do 
I have to do that?"

73
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A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway.
The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."
The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm counting cars,"comes the rely. "Want to help?"
"Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the
highway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."
All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semi
drives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walks
down the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."

Sent by Kellie

74
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There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home.  When they
got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea
way use your imagination).  The three girls jump off and swim
to a nearby island.  After being there a few days the brunette
tries to swim to shore.  She gets about five miles off the
island's shore and drowns. After a few days pass the redhead decides
that she will try. She gets about have way and drowns.  Now
realizing all her friends are gone she decides to try too.  Now she
swims for hours.  She gets to where she can see the shore but she
is so tired she decieds to turn around and go back.

Sent by Evan

75
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What do you call three blondes on Santa's Lap??

Ho Ho Ho


Sent by Adam


The jokes continue below

 


76
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Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come 
home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. 

The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: " 
OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and 
touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like 
semen."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, 
smells it, and says "It smells like semen." 

The blonde,  reaches out and touches it with her fingers 
and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, 
"It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . ."

77
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Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a 
compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She 
opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person 
looks familiar."

"Let me look." said the other one. So she handed her the compact.

The second blonde looked in the mirror then turned to the first one.
"You dumbass -- that's ME!

78
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Two blondes were walking through the woods and they
came to some tracks. 
The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." 
The other said, "No, they look like moose tracks." 
They argued and argued and were still arguing when
the train hit them.

79
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What's the difference between a computer and a blonde? 

The computer is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on. 

80
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WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE STANDING ON HER HEAD?


A BRUNETTE WITH BAD BREATH!

Sent by ÇãM

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