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   Alice was becoming frustrated by her husband's insistence that they
   love in the dark. Hoping to free him of his inhibitions, she flipped
   on her
   reading lamp one passionate night -- only to find a cucumber in his
   "Is THIS", she asked, pointing to the vegetable, "what you've been
   on me for the last 5 years?" "Honey, let me explain..." "Why, you
   bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a -" "Speaking of
   her husband coolly interjected, "maybe you'd like to explain our three

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