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   ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95
   Costello: Hey, Abbott!
   Abbot: Yes, Lou?
   Costello: I just got my first computer.
   Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get?
   Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive,
   and a 24X CD-ROM.
   Abbot: That's terrific, Lou.
   Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!!
   Abbot: You will in time.
   Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you.
   Abbot: Oh?
   Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert.
   Abbot: Well, I don't know-
   Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train
   me.
   Abbot: Really?
   Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
   Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do you want to know?
   Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you
   should be very careful how you turn it off.
   Abbot: That's true.
   Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn
   it off. What do I do?
   Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
   Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
   Abbot: I know, you press the Start button-
   Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to
   start it. So tell me what to do.
   Abbot: I did.
   Costello: When?
   Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.
   Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
   Abbot: To shut off the computer.
   Costello: I press Start to stop.
   Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
   Costello: I knew it! So what do I press.
   Abbot: Start
   Costello: Start what?
   Abbot: Start button.
   Costello: Start button to do what?
   Abbot: Shut down.
   Costello: You don't have to get rude!
   Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
   Costello: Then say what you mean.
   Abbot: To shut down the computer, press-
   Costello: Don't say, "Start!"
   Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?
   Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to
   press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but
   no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
   Abbot: But that's what you do.
   Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
   Abbot: Don't be ridiculous.
   Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we
   started this conversation.
   Abbot: What are you talking about?
   Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.



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