Build an Ark
The Lord said to Noah, "In six months, I'm going to make it rain until
the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want
you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the
blueprints for the ark."
Six months passed. The skies began to cloud and rain began to fall.
Noah sat in his front yard, weeping.
"Why haven't you built the ark?" asked the Lord.
"Oh, forgive me," said Noah. "I did my best, but so many things
"The blueprints you gave me didn't meet the city's code and I had to
change them. Then the city said I was violating the zoning ordinance
by building an ark in my front yard, so I had to get a varience..
"The Forest Service required tree-cutting permits, and I was sued by a
state animal rights group when I tried to gather up the animals.
"The EPA required an environmental impact statement concerning the
flood. the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood
"The IRS seized all my assets, claiming I was trying to avoid paying
taxes by leaving the country, and the Equal Opportunity Commission
said I wasn't hiring enough Croatians.
"I'm sorry, Lord, but I can't finish the ark for at least five years."
Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies cleared and the sun began to
Noah looked up and said, "Lord, does this mean you're not going to
devastate the earth?"
"Right," said the Lord. "The government already has."