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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.  After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an 
announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this 
is your captain speaking.  Welcome to Flight Number 293, 
nonstop from New York to Los Angeles.  The weather ahead is 
good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful 
flight.  Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"


Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies 
and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I 
was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and 
spilled the hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my 

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing.  He should see the 
back of mine!"

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