THE SETTING: A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a
Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look
how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two
hands. Piled it for months. But do they call me
Then the old man gestured at the bar.
"Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed
that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me
own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me
Then the old man points out the window.
"Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that sretches out as
far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back.
I nailed it board by board. But do they call me
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is
"But ya fuck one goat . . . "