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Hiram answers the telephone, and it's an emergency room 

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and 
I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost 
all use of both arms and both legs, and will be on a respirator 
the rest of her life."

Hiram says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

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