Vote for the poem that you
really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE
button to submit your votes.
A king sadly said to his queen,
"In parts you have grown far from lean."
"I don't give a damn,
You've always liked ham,"
She replied, and he gasped, "How obscene!"
Send this poem to a friend 1 There was a young man of St. Paul's
Possessed the most useless of balls.
Till at last, at The Strand,
He managed a stand,
And tossed himself off in the stalls.
Send this poem to a friend 2 There once was a fellow named Trete
Who from birth was inclined to be neat.
He became extra fussy
When he thought his pants mussy,
And would throw them away in the street.
Send this poem to a friend 3 There was a young lady from Munich
Who was had in a park by a eunuch.
In a moment of passion
He shot her a ration
From a squirt-gun concealed 'neath his tunic.
Send this poem to a friend 4 "At a seance," said a young man named Post,
"I was being sucked off by a ghost;
Someone switched on the lights
And there in guaze tights,
On his knees, was Tobias mine host."
Send this poem to a friend 5 There was an old lady who lay
With her legs wide apart in the hay,
Then calling the ploughman,
She said, "Do it now, man!
Don't wait till your hair has turned gray."
Send this poem to a friend 6 There was a young man of Soho
Whose tastes were exceedingly low.
He said to his mother,
"Let us suck one another,
And swallow the seminal flow."
Send this poem to a friend 7 An opera singer named Black
Would fuck anything with a crack:
Sidewalks and board fences,
Young goats and cheese blintzes,
And the cheekiest man in his claque.
Send this poem to a friend 8 There's a man in the Bible portrayed
As one deeply engrossed in his trade.
He became quite elated
Over things he created,
Especially the women he made.
Send this poem to a friend 9 There once was a man of Sag Harbor
Who used to go with a fag barber.
He gave some auditions
In many positions,
And now he plays flute with Jan Garber.
Send this poem to a friend 10