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Today's poems[10.24.98]

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There was a young whore whose de-light
        Was to lure all the men of the night.
        She'd en-trap them with bets,
        Then ad-mi-re their pecks
        And then stare at the ceil-ing all night.



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1
There was a young rump from Ra-cine Whose bot-tom was in-ter-est-ing-ly keen. No wig-gle or shook It was hard as a book, When it blos-somed I sqirt-ed my bean.
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2
There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel Who said, "They can all go to hell! What they do to my wife--- Why it ruins my life; And the worst is, they all do it well."
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3
There was an old man of Madrid Who went to an auction to bid. In the first lot they sold Was an ancient commode--- And, my God, when they lifted the lid!
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4
There was a young fellow named Bowen Whose pecker kept growin' and growin'. It grew so tremendous, So long and so pendulous, 'Twas no good for fuckin'---just showin'.
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5
There was an old hag named Le Sueur Who just was an out-and-out whore. Between her big tits You could come for two bits, And she'd fuck in any old sewer.
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6
Have you heard of the Widow O'Riley Who esteemed her late husband so highly That in spite of the scandal, Her umbrella handle Was made of his membrum virile.
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7
Thank God for the Duchess of Gloucester, She obliges all who accost her. She welcomes the prick Of Tom, Harry, or Dick, Or Baldwin, or even Lord Astor.
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8
There was a gay parson of Tooting Whose roe he was frequently shooting, Till he married a lass With a face like my ass, And a cunt you could put a top-boot in.
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9
A cowhand way out in Seattle Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. He said, "No, I can't fuck A lamb or a duck, But golly! it just fits the cattle."
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10

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