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Today's poems[10.2.98]

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A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
`Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool.'

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There was a young lady from Eaton Whose figure had plenty of meat on. She said: 'Wed me, Jack, And you'll find that my back Is a nice place to warm your cold feet on'.
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A deep-throated virgin named Netty Was sucking a cock on the jetty. She said, "It tastes nice, Much better than rice, Though not quite as good as spaghetti."
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To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective: 'Can it be that my eyesight's defective? Has your east tit the least bit The best of the west tit? Or is it a trick of perspective?'
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There once was a pious young priest Who lived almost wholly on yest "For", he said, "It's plain, We must all rise again, And I want to get started at least"
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There was a young lady called Valerie Who started to count every calory Said her boss in disgust: "If you lose half your bust You'll be worth only half of your salary!"
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There was a Young Lady, whose chin Resembled a point of a pin; So she had it made sharp, And purchased the harp. And played several tunes with her chin
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There was a Young Lady of Bute, Who played on a silver-gilf flute; She played several jigs To her uncle's white pigs, That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
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"Now really, young man, you're a bore," Said a Lady Priscilla van Blore. "I'm covered with sweat And you haven't come yet And my God - it is quarter past four!"
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There was an old man from Peru Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He awoke in a fright In the middle of the night And found it was perfectly true.
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