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Today's jokes[10.25.98]

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What is old, wrinkled, and hangs out your underwear? 

Your Mother...

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A traveling salesman's car breaks down, and he walks over to a near by farm. He knocks on the door and the farmer appears. "Excuse me sir, but my car broke down about a mile down the road, and I was wondering if you had a place I could stay, just until morning, and I....." The farmer says, "Well, I can let you sleep in the barn, but you'll have to sleep with my two sons...." The salesman says, "Sons! I must be in the wrong joke!"
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What is the worst thing about our justice system? You're leaving your fate in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
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How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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The medical student was asked four reasons why mother's milk was better for babies than cow's milk. This is the answer he submitted: 1. It's fresher. 2. It's cleaner. 3. The cats can't get to it. 4. It's easier to take on a picnic. He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."
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Where does Peter Pan eat? Wendy's
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What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement!
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Did I tell you I had this woman pounding on my door all night last night? Yeah, I finally let her out!
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A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!" He says, "Aha!"
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What do you do when a Blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
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