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Today's jokes[10.19.98]

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Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are
selling this year?

They are called Lewin-skis.  They are for people who like to go down.

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A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he's been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. "No! I'm not doing it anymore!" says the farmer. "And the pig is a female, of course. What the hell do you think I am -- a goddam queer?
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Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii. As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said, "Look at the legs among that group." "Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor. "But I'm a chest man myself."
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What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Dam".
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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
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Where do you find a no legged dog? Right where you left him.
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They just found out Clinton's been stuffing turf in his underpants. They're for grass roots support.
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What do you get when you cross Viagra and Rogaine? Don King.
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This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards -- something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -- "Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry." The blonde replied, "How cool! I'll take the whole box!"
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What do you call an armless, legless leper in a swimming pool? Bob
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