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Why do women get PMS?
THEY JUST FUCKING DO ALRIGHT!?
Send this joke to a friend 1 It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when
a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his
butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the
baby was his and asked what was he going to do about
Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until
the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar,
and one day the teenager who had been collecting the
meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been
counting too, tell your mother, when you take this
parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat
she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The
woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher
and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk,
and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the
expression on HIS face!"
Send this joke to a friend 2 Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?
Nobody will look for them.
Send this joke to a friend 3 What's the difference between a lawyer and a
You should take your workboots off before
you jump on a trampoline.
Send this joke to a friend 4 What is the proper weight for an attorney?
About 3 pounds, .......not counting the urn!
Send this joke to a friend 5 How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford to
be screwed for?
Send this joke to a friend 6 How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Send this joke to a friend 7 Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married.
I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to
The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."
Send this joke to a friend 8 A bum asks a man for $2.
The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"
The bum said, "No."
The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"
The bum said, "No."
Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can
see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
Send this joke to a friend 9 A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an
unfortunate incident occurred.
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet
for the morning's relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up.
When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed
into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in
front of her.
She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried
desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her
naked and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently
visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber,
despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were
walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was
exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he
could think of, his yarmulke skull cap, over his wife's exposed
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented:
"Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but the Rabbi's a goner."
Send this joke to a friend 10