Vote for the joke that you
really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE
button to submit your votes.
A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to
cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so
thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him
to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to
rent a plane and take photos from the air.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate.
He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung
the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low
passes so I can take some pictures."
"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded,
"and photographers take photographs."
The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean
you're not the flight instructor?"
Send this joke to a friend 1 A man went to his dentist because he feels something
wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says,
"that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is
eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all
I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made
some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was
delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put
it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
Hollindaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is
highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make
you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why
chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies,
"It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like
chrome for the Hollandaise!"
Send this joke to a friend 2 What is green, has four legs and smells like woman?
The white house's pool table
Send this joke to a friend 3
Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from
Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow."
"Why not?" asks Joey.
"I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully.
"That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are you
Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision."
Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror across
his face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I was
born, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!"
Send this joke to a friend 4 A Chinese man is making love to his wife. He whispers in her ear,
"Baby, I wanna' 69!"
She gives him a strange look and replies,
"You want Beef and Broccoli NOW?"
Send this joke to a friend 5 A man walks into a shoe store...
...and tries on a pair of shoes.
"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well ... they feel a bit tight." replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the
"Try pulling the tongue out." offers the clerk.
Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.
Send this joke to a friend 6 This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a
sign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he thinks. "How in
the world does that fit in here?"
So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting
in the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place
get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers "Is name of owner."
The visitor asks "Well, who is the owner?"
"I am he," answers the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I
was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me
was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He
say, " Hans Olaffsen." She look at me say, "What your name?" I say,
Send this joke to a friend 7 A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering,
finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem.
Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud
physician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that
does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."
So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the
street. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to
thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful! I've had sex
fourteen times in eight days!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What does
your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't even been home yet!"
Send this joke to a friend 8 Tombstone epitaph
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
The Good Die Young.
Send this joke to a friend 9 Tombstone Epitaph
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
Send this joke to a friend 10