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Today's jokes [4.7.21]

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Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 
cucumbers. The guy advises: "Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that's 150, 
you'll get a 25% discount !" The nuns look at each other, and after a 
prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other:
"We could eat the 30, I suppose."

1. 




A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated 
to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: 
"Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".
The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown 
had a name.
The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, 
but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."

2. 




    The Reverend

   Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an
   exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just
   had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was
   feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon
   as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of
   town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he
   wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
   Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday
   morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint
   Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and
   exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
   The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton
   hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short
   of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN
   ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why
   did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going
   to tell?"


3. 




What do you call a gay Indian? 

    A brave sucker! 

4. 




What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common? 

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling. 

5. 



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