Today's quotes [2.17.21]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

There may be some things better than sex and some things may be worse,
but there is nothing exactly like it.

     - W. C. Fields 

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add. 

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. 
Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out" 

                            -- Steven Wright

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up. 

    - Thomas Edison 

A man with one watch knows what time it is.
A man with two watches is never sure.

    - Albert Einstein 

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   February '21 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28