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Today's jokes [2.5.21]

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an 
African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three 
social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.
The bartender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"


A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for
their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on
that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked
the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in
front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck
your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you
thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."


A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a 
number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they 
are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to 

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and 
says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She 
begins to drool. 

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and 
says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 
1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this 

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she 
grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. 

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are 
you in such a hurry to go?" 

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short 
fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"


   There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of
   control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a
   while, one of the first two turned to the third and sez "Well...  what
   about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife ?"
   "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her
   hands and knees." he bragged and took another sip of beer.
   His friends were amazed ! "What happened then ?" they asked, almost in
   "Well, then she said, 'Get the hell out from under that bed and fight
   like a man !' " he admitted.


Who makes all the bras for brunettes?


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