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Today's jokes [2.3.21]

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Blondes dumb?!?!?

 After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a
blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food
to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk
and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty
hot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde
walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."


What is the rallying cry of the International Dyslexic Pride movement? 

                       Dyslexics Untie! 


AGE        DRINK
        17         Wine Coolers
        25         White wine
        35         Red wine
        48         Dom Perignon
        66         Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser


Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club near his home. He goes 
in and is turned down flat because he does not meet their "standards."  So 
he enrolls in the finest schools to learn the art of being culturally 
rich. Moshe learns to cook the finest of foods, appreciate the best art, 
drive the best car, wear the classiest suits, etc. He even hires Professor 
Henry Higgins to educate him in the proper speech and behavior.
The big day arrives.  Martin James Roget arrives at the country club for
his interview.
   "Tea?" the interviewer asks.
   "Earl Grey, hot please."
   "Polo, racket ball, hunting."


One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor,
to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said my god you
look so depressed. 
She said you bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me...six
dozen roses. Now you know what that means? I'm going to have to
spend this whole weekend on my back with my legs spread. 
Now that's really silly, why don't you use a vase? 


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