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Today's jokes [2.18.21]

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Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few
   gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates... "I know
   you haven't been getting much lately...but I didn't know you were so
   worried about it!"


1. 




Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts with two of their
herd simultaneously. One turns to the other, disgustedly, and says,

"I hear they're doing this to women in Chicago!" 

2. 




A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor
 puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says, 'Big breaths...'
 The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'


3. 




Father Goose Story No. 7



Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called
Trids.  The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived
on the mountain.  The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him.  They thought
one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary.  So a group
of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could
even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being
dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent
another delagation, this time led by the local priest.  But alas, as they
approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish.
Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another
land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre.  The
Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain.  The ogre
saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the
mountain.  The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered
why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre.
The ogre laughed and replied:

      "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"



4. 




What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?

A slap happy Jappy, with a crap happy pappy.

5. 



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