Today's jokes [2.10.21]

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   If you are unsure of what "shagging" means, [1]this list may help. LD
   
   A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all
   he visits a Cornish farmer.
   
   "So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
   
   "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie
   boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
   
   "That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he leaves the
   Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.
   
   "So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your Sheep?"
   
   "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie
   boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
   
   "That's very interesting," replies the researcher. "That's how they do
   it in Cornwall too." And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets
   a farmer from Abergaveny.
   
   "So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your Sheep?" "Well, I take the
   hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the
   front legs of the sheep and put them over my shoulders."
   
   "Over your shoulders?" replies the researcher. "Don't you put them
   over a wall like everyone else?"
   
   "What?" says the farmer. "And miss out on all the kissing?!"
   

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died. 

"You know, it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in 
heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." 
Susie, still crying, said "What would God want with a dead dog?"

The FBI finally came back with the DNA results.

Clinton was a perfect match.
So was all of Arkansas. 

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?"
. "Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week."
"So, Morrie," whispers Abraham "How do you start a flood?". 

How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
    
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

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