Today's stories [1.19.21]

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The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness
   reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is
   the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's
   "206's".... His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of
   curiosity. I would not breed from this Officer. This Officer is really
   not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. When she
   opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot
   was previously in there. He has carried out each and every one of his
   duties to his entire satisfaction. He would be out of his depth in a
   car park puddle. Technically sound, but socially impossible. This
   Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
   at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. This young lady has
   delusions of adequacy. When he joined my ship, this Officer was
   something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably. Since my
   last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. She
   sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
   them. He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. In my
   opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
   Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in
   a trap This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Only
   occasionally wets himself under pressure


  

On a bumper sticker:

     Keep honking, I'm reloading. 

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic.
Driving to work this morning on I-95 I look over
to my left and there's this woman in a Mustang doing
65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear
view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I look away for
a couple seconds and when I look back she's halfway
over in my lane. Scared me so bad I dropped my
electric shaver in my coffee." 

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