Today's stories [1.16.21]

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I was recently in my local pub in Scotland, and it was pretty quiet.
There were several people sitting at the bar with me, and the bar-lady
was reading a paper.

She looked at me, puzzled, and said "John, you do crosswords, don't
you?"
"Yes," I replied, truthfully.
"I've got one here - 'Stranded, as on a desert island', 10 letters, and
the first is 'M'.  Any ideas?"
"Marooned," I said.
The other customers shouted out their orders: "A whusky," "a pint o'
heavy", etc, etc.

Delighted at this display of humour, I refused to pay for a drop.

Anything for an A



     A student comes to a young professor's office hours.  She
glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
     "I would do *anything* to pass this exam."  She leans closer
to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
     "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...*anything*."
     He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
     "*Anything*."
     His voice softens. "*Anything*??"
     "*Anything*."
     His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...*study*?"

                                 - A TRUE STORY (FROM DARTMOUTH)

                             $250 Cookie Recipe
     
   
This message is sent to you with the hope you will forward it to EVERYONE
you have ever even seen the e-mail address of.   In the spirit of the
originator, please feel free to post it anywhere and everywhere.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

     Okay, everyone... a true story of justice in the good old U.S. of A.
Thought y'all might enjoy this; if nothing else, it shows internet
justice, if it can be called that.

     My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in
Dallas & decided to have a small dessert.   Because our family are such
cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie".   It was so
excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and they said with a
small frown, "I'm afraid not."   Well, I said, would you let me buy the
recipe?  With a cute smile, she said, "Yes."   I asked how much, and she
responded, "Two fifty."  I said with approval, just add it to my tab.
Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it
was $285.00.  I looked again and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for
two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf.  As I glanced at the bottom of the
statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe - $250.00."   Boy, was I upset!!   I
called Neiman's Accounting Dept. and told them the waitress said it was
"two fifty," and I did not realize she meant $250.00 for a cookie recipe.
I asked them to take back the recipe and reduce my bill, and they said
they were sorry, but because all the recipes were this expensive so not
just everyone could duplicate any of our bakery recipes....the bill would
stand.

     I waited, thinking of how I could get even or even try and get any of
my money back.

     I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00 and now I'm going to have
250.00 worth of fun."  I told her that I was going to see to it that every
cookie lover will have a $250.00 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus for
nothing.  She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this."  I said, "I'm sorry
but this is the only way I feel I could get even," and I will.

     So, here it is, and please pass it to someone else or run a few
copies....I paid for it; now you can have it for free.

                         (Recipe may be halved.):
           2  cups butter                     4  cups flower
           2  tsp. soda                        2  cups sugar
           5  cups blended oatmeal**         24 oz. chocolate chips
           2  cups brown sugar                1  tsp. salt
           1  8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)      4  eggs
           2  tsp. baking powder          3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
           2  tsp. vanilla

             ** measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
              Cream the butter and both sugars.  Add eggs and vanilla;
              mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and
              soda.  Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts.  Roll into
              balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.  Bake
              for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.  Makes 112 cookies.

             Have fun!!!  This is not a joke --- this is a true story.
  

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