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Today's quotes [1.21.21]

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Although they have tried to cover up the fact that mad cow disease
       exists the government has finally given up to public pressure
       demanding they reveal the truth, however they are still insisting
       that this fatal infection is no worse than a broken leg. No worse
       than a broken leg? I once had a broken leg and it hurt like
       fuck!!!!


1. 




In the beginning the Universe was created... This made a lot of
       people angry and was widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas
       Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe


2. 




"I'm leaving in a couple hours for Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm going to
 visit some family over Christmas. This is where my grandmother lives.
 She has dementia, and is firmly convinced that a trio of hoodlums have
 tunneled through the ground to her house and are now residing in her
 utility closet."
"HEY!  There's actually FOUR of us!  And we're not hoodlums, we're thugs.
 Tell her to get it straight."
                        -- kife@ix.netcom.com, Lt. Wilkes


3. 




If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that
    will do the most damage will go wrong first.


4. 




You will always find some Eskimo ready instruct the Congolese
on how to cope with heat waves.

        --Ibid

5. 



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