Today's poems [1.8.21] Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two slices of bread! Sent by Mad
There was a young man from Bengal, Who had an hexagonal ball, The cube of it's weight, Was his penis times eight, Which in fact is Pi times fuck all! Sent by Doug
Netting a catch =============== I met her on the Internet, she said her name was Kiki, I spoke to her one Saturday, it soon became twice weekly. I liked her face, her pointed chin, the way she touched her hair, I loved her smile and glinting eyes, and all beyond in there I longed to meet her desperately, but only could I dream, of seeing her in the flesh and not just on the screen I booked my flight and flew for hours, I was feeling so elated but finally, when we met her face looked devastated Why was this? I could not think. Of course, I should have told her I'm really only 4 feet tall, and my head's a lot more balder. It always seemed too good for real, the honeymoon was over, I reluctantly went home again, and wept as I flew over and soon enough , I did groan, the relationship had ended she broke my heart the wretched bitch, and still it hasn't mended there is a happy ending though, for after I lost Kiki, I fell in love with Annabel who doesn't find me geeky Anna is a lovely sight, she makes me warm inside I have to blow her up, you see cause she's my latex bride Sent by Dan
Roses are reddish, Violets are blueish, If it wasn't for Christmas, We'd all be Jewish.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with care In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of computer games danced in their heads. PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan, And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann. The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom, To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com - Which has now been re-routed to Washington State Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates. All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle. After centuries of a life that was simple and spare, St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire, With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh, And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans. The elves have stock options and desks with a view, Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue. No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive, From now on Christmas runs only on Win95. More rapid than eagles the competitors came, And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name. "Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too, Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through, It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist, It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist - Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf, And on the package, a picture of Santa himself. Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme, And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream. To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow! Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!" And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, The whir and the hum of our satellite platter, As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky, The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy. As I sprang from my bed and was turning around, My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound. And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates. And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright, Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.
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