Today's poems [1.17.21]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

Doc said i should go on a diet;

I said, "Ok, I will try it."

But when i saw how

Much food he'd allow,

I made up my mind not to buy it.

Sent by Christi

There once was a lady from Pinner
Whose boyfriend wanked on her dinner
She said if you please
I don't mind some cream teas
But I like my white sauce a bit thinner 

                    I told her, "Your bank accounts knotted,
                            
                    You've spent so much more than alloted."
                            She said with a yawn,
                            "I'm not overdrawn,
                            
                    It's just simply an under-deposit!"

Drink

I fell in love with a dry martini
But now she`s gone
And passed away...
Or rather, passed right through me.

After that, I drank some coffee
So momentarily
I found sobriety


She made me high
She gave me kicks
She made me ill
I was only six!

© 1989 Peter Hughes.

Sent by Pete Hughes

There was a young lady from china,
who had an enourmous vagina.
and when she was dead
they painted it red
and used it for docking a liner.

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '21 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31