Today's jokes [1.5.21]
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What game do four elephants in a mini play?
Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on,
standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks
"What's that mum ? " His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally
she came up with the following, "That's where your dad accidentially hit
me with an axe!" and little Harry replies, "Good shot, right in the CUNT!"
A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who signed the
Declaration of Independence?" He said, "Damn if I know." She was a little
put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his
father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son,
sat in the back of the room to observe. She started back in on her quiz
and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who
signed the Declaration of Independence?" "Well, hell, teacher," Johnny
said, "I told you I didn't know." The father jumped up in the back,
pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that
damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!"
Sent by Kelly
Like a lot of young women these days, one of our secretaries had
worked long and hard to put her boyfriend through college. After he
graduated and passed his bar exam, I asked her if they planned to be
She looked at me with a big smile and said, "Oh no! Not right away. I
want him to practice for at least six months first."
A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting
to cross the street,
when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice
trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and
retrieves a doggie biscuit
which he starts to offer to Fido.
A businessman, who is also waiting to cross the street, observes this
interrupts, "Excuse me buddy, but are you aware of the fact that your
dog just pissed all
down the leg of your pants?"
"Yes, I'm trying to break him of this dreadful habit", replies the
"Well, it's none of my business," says the onlooker, "but you're not
going to teach him
much by rewarding him with a biscuit!"
To which the blind fellow chuckles, "Oh I'm not rewarding him. I'm
just trying to find his
head so I can kick his ass!"
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