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Today's stories [9.3.20]

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SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del,6)

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might
get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
(Alonzo, 9)

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's
something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for
me."  (Bart, 9)

1. 




Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie.
They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk.
The problem was getting Ken to listen.

2. 




Doc and his wife were splitting up the debts and assets. The
main asset, of course, was the house.  My ex's truly serious
suggestion:  "Since the house payment is a little more than
the credit card payments, I'll do you a favor and take the
house and the house payment and you can take the credit card
debt."

3. 



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