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Today's poems [9.3.20]

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Our vicar's an absolute lamb;
But when he sat dawn in a jam
On taking his seat
At our sunday school treat
We all heard the poor man say:...
 "... Stand up, please, while I say grace !"

1. 




A cautious young husband named Rafe 
            Used to diddle his wife with a safe. 
                Thus he thwarted God's wishes 
                And fed his pet fishes, 
            Which he kept in a bedside carafe. 

2. 




There once was a man from Kartomb
Who was exceedingly fond of the womb.
He thought nothing finer
Than the human vagina,
So he kept three of four in his room 

3. 




I met her on the internet and I couldn't keep from staring
She had the coolest font I'd ever seen
She was Microsoft, mathmatical, and IBM compatible
And fireworks exploded on my screen
Well, my cursor started blinking like the beating of my heart
And my modem started singing, thinking this could be the start
Chorus:
Of a Techie Love -- between us
With the latest gadgetry
Techie love can be the sweetest
world wide web we weave

Well I courted her with e-mail and with roses from my clip art
I sent romantic faxes everyday
Though I'm kinda shy to tell, heck, I wrote poems that I spell checked
And I bought her software from Comp USA
We were wonderful together how she made me feel so fine 
And we planned a simple wedding on America On-Line

Chorus: And there was techie love between us.......

Then one day there was lightning and it caused some power surges
And you should have seen the look upon my face
Cause I wasn't surge protected, or backed up like you'd expect, it
blew my files somewhere out to cyberspace
Well now nothing lasts forever, I know even good things pass,
So I knew that it was over on the day the hard drive crashed
Chorus: On the techie love between us.......

She's gone, and it megahertz
It's like a virus, only worse
She's gone, but I can't wait
I'll get a new computer that has windows Y2K

Chorus: And there'll be techie love........

c 1998 Mark Hankins

4. 




A Plumber whose name was Ten Brink 
            Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink. 
                Her resistance was stout, 
                And Ten Brink petered out 
            With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink. 

5. 



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