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Today's jokes [9.14.20]

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"Will the father be present during the birth?"
asked the obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be,
"He and my husband don't get along."

1. 




Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good
looking females. One spots a real cutie sitting on a
pile of cow shit and dives down toward her.

"Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm,
"...but is this stool taken?"

2. 




Good News, Bad News, Worse News III

  Good: 
        Your husband understands fashion
   Bad: 
        He's a crossdresser
 Worse: 
        He looks better than you

3. 




Q: How many men does it take to mop the floor?
A: None, it's a women's job


4. 




A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moooo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed 
little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, "Bud."



5. 



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